Tuesday, January 2, 2018

First kisses of 2018 and first steps of the initiative challenge

So yesterday was the first day of 2018. I spent most of it simply getting all of my ducks in a row, as you can see by all of my blog posts yesterday and the little (but time-consuming) changes to my design and content.

I did make sure to give Mr. D a very intimate good morning kiss (long and deep), make him coffee, and avoid nagging him to do chores all day. I asked him a few times if there was anything I could do or get for him, while he relaxed and enjoyed his final day of vacation playing video games. I practiced patience and kindness and thoughtfulness...since graciousness is an aim for me this year - in all my relationships. I'm really trying to work on acceptance. I can be pretty impatient with others, and hold them (and myself) to unrealistic and unfair expectations. Sometimes I get irritated with others and don't even really know why. Then, when I think about it and realize how irrational my irritation is, I can dial it back. It's often just about self-awareness. And the more self-aware I am about my emotions, the more capable I am of controlling them.

Not much else was accomplished yesterday, but I feel good about the way we are currently looking at each other.

Today, it is my aim to continue practicing patience and kindness. I have to go back to work, and that always has a tendency to send me for a loop emotionally and mentally. I (probably unwisely) have a career that entails much multi-tasking. I also have so many things to do at any given time that it is impossible to do any of them well...basically I spend my day putting out fires. It's my aim to handle that differently this year, by setting priorities in the morning (no more than three), and then letting the rest go. I am one person and can only accomplish so much. When I give myself too much to do, I set myself up for failure.

The same goes for anything...health, relationships, parenting...whatever the topic, if we ask too much of ourselves, we will indubitably be unable to reach the expectation that we set. Better to choose how we want to feel (today, it's GRACIOUS and centered). I started my day with what I'm calling my "gratitude flow." I do yoga for about 10-15 minutes to get my body moving, my breathing in control, and my heart rate stabilized, and then I just sit - sometimes, I guess I'd call it meditation. It centers me and grounds me, and it's a way to deeply connect with the energy within me and from a higher source. I end by asking for strength in some particular area or offering up a prayer. Then I plan my day, align my calendars (making sure to be true to the "core desired feelings" I am seeking and that I am keeping my priorities in mind and my tasks manageable), and then I write until 6 a.m. That's when I have to get the household up and running.

My days are only as busy as I make them. And my priorities are what I choose to put my time and effort into. I am in complete control of how I react to what the world offers me. And how I choose to react will directly impact the energy that I bring home and the energy that I have left to offer the ones who matter most in my life.

Prioritizing my loved ones, especially my husband, should not be so hard. And I'm a bit ashamed to admit how out of practice I have become over the years.

Today, I am promising more passionate kisses goodbye and hello...full body, intentional, and meaningful connections that show him how much he matters.

Here's to a new year of putting what matters at the top of my to-do list!

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