Fitness Friday

Yes, it's finally Friday!

This week, I'm doing better with my fitness goals. I had to take a week off earlier in the month because my plantar fasciitis was acting up. Rather than injure it worse by plodding through, I decided to take it easy for awhile.

That was a good idea.

This week, I've made some gains with my 5K training. I did 8 minute-long runs and upped my running pace to 5.5 or 6 mph.

I went to yoga twice, and also decided to simplify my workout routine a bit more. As I hate to work out, the 6 workouts per week was beginning to wear on me. Rather than sending me out the door in a better mood with more energy, it was bringing me down. I was going to bed at 8:30 each night and not looking forward to the morning. There are certainly benefits to a morning workout. And the days I run/walk, I do feel a surge of added energy and a lift in mood. But, when I tried to do it every day of the work week (a.m. run M/W/F, a.m. strength T/TH, plus yoga p.m. T/TH, and strength Sun) I was burning myself out on fitness.

For some people, working out all the time is great. They look forward to it, and it's a number one personal goal. By working out so much, I actually began to feel that this goal was taking precedence over my other two (marriage/sex and writing/blogging). I only have so many hours in a day.

So I did a little time blocking session using Google Calendar. I color code my calendar based on several factors...mainly: work, reading/writing, family time & time to focus on Mr. D, fitness, housework, appointments, sleep, and events. If one color starts to take over, I know I have a problem. If a color is missing or rare, I also know I have a problem (sometimes).

I came up with a new, simpler plan that seems to be working better. I do my 5K training T, Th, and Sunday morning. I go to yoga T/Th evenings. I know I should be getting some strength training in, but...I'm just gonna let that one go for awhile.

Month in review: marriage, health, and writing

Well, it is the end of January, and it's time to take stock of where I've been and where I'm going. As decided at the beginning of the year, my major goal areas this year are marriage, writing, and health. Within each of those areas, I've chosen ONE THING that will improve it: fucking, blogging, and running. So, here's my reflection.

MARRIAGE:

I started out this month with the smaller step of showing sexual initiative. I'd give myself a failing grade on this. But, I'd also say that hasn't been all my fault. During the first week of January, Mr. D sprained his ankle on the job. Then he was gone the second week for business. We had sex the day he left, and it was good, but it felt sort of "mandatory." I sent him dirty stories each night he was gone in an attempt to "make an effort." He didn't acknowledge that I'd sent them until he got back...and then it was just a mention that "I got your stories" with an appreciative smile, like I'd ironed his shirt or picked up his laundry.

When he got back, he was tired and sick. I let him have a day to just rest, but I was sad that he didn't come home with any apparent desire for me. We had sex again, when he returned, but I suspect it was only because I pouted and cried and made him feel guilty. I suppose I should have handled it differently, but I've been emotionally fragile all month and just didn't feel strong enough to take control.

He's also been run-down and tired all month, and his libido has been on hiatus since the end of last year. At the beginning of the month, he stated that maybe he didn't want to try and bring it back, because his high libido vs my low libido seemed, to him, to be at the center of all our problems. The thing is...just because I have a lower libido doesn't mean I never want sex. Anyhow, he started to taking several supplements to improve his libido. It's a step, but I feel the bigger issues that are the root cause of his lagging sex drive (lack of exercise, depression, weight, and unhappiness with our "boring" sex life) are not being dealt with. This isn't something I have control over. He's got to decide to deal with them. But it's hard to sit on the sidelines and feel helpless about it. It doesn't appear that he wants my encouragement. He doesn't want me to say anything about it. He knows what his problems are, and he'll deal with it (or won't) when he's emotionally ready.

The third week of January, I got sick. So, I certainly wasn't in the mood. I didn't go to work, and I basically just slept and read.

Then my cat died. She was 19, and it wasn't a surprise, but it hit me hard.


Now we are in the final week of January, and I don't feel like I initiated anything. I also don't feel like he initiated anything, which isn't making me feel very good, either. Last night, after a few glasses of wine, I let him know that I'm feeling pretty detached from him. He spends a lot of time on his phone or his computer or playing video games, and very little time focusing on me. I think it's how he insulates himself from disappointment. Don't get me wrong...we spend time together and we laugh, he cooks dinner most nights, we kiss goodbye in the morning, we say I love you, and he puts his arm around me in bed at night. Our relationship isn't complete shit.

We've had sex four times this month, none of them because of my initiative. So, I'm sticking with "initiative" as a continuing theme, rather than for just a month. I obviously need more time to work on this. 

WRITING:

Illness both helped and hurt my writing this month. It gave me more time to write, but it also robbed me of motivation. I did a decent job of keeping up with memes the first and second week of the month, but the third and forth weeks were tougher. With the Smut Marathon coming up, I'm also feeling as if picking and choosing is going to be necessary.

I'm giving myself permission to simply write when I have time and when I feel inspired. I chose to spend time with my family some nights instead of write, and I chose to rest on some days instead of write. Writing is important, but there are things that are bigger priorities. I've struggled to find enough time to write. I moved my workout to the morning before work, and I've whittled down pretty much everything else in my schedule, too. But even with that, I usually don't get around to writing until 7 or 8. And sometimes, I'll be honest, I'm just too tired to care much.

I'd give myself a B- in this area. I feel I have gotten myself back in the habit, and I'm committed to my blog enough to write every day or every few days. I'm good with that.

HEALTH:

I started out the month with a program called Metabolic Aftershock. Mainly, I like the idea that it only takes 15 minutes. But, I really dislike working out, and I decided that I have to start with something I hate less. I went back to Zombies, Run! and am just walking on the treadmill. I also started doing it right away in the morning, before I am conscious enough to talk myself out of it. It starts my day more actively and I usually feel more energetic when I leave the house. It's nice to get it out of the way early so I don't have to worry about it later in the day. Next week, I'll be adding in the Zombies, Run! 5K training...then the 10k training. My goal right now is do a run in May with my son, and then a 1/2 marathon (walk/run/jog) in June. I'll figure something else out then.

I'm not worrying about any other exercise right now (other than yoga...because I love that and have no trouble motivating myself to do it...and getting my 10,000 steps in M-F). I know that strength training is important, but I'd rather focus on a type of exercise I'm willing to do.

Diet is also secondary to me right now. I am keeping track of my diet, alcohol intake, water, and sleep, but the aren't the focus.

Last week was my best week. Being on the treadmill every morning meant that I made my 3 mile/per day goal every day, for a total of over 17 miles.I hit my "active minutes" goal and "calories burnt" goal every day. I did not meet my sleep goal (not even one day), and I failed to meet my water intake goal, as well.

My ONE major focus for now is getting up every morning, Monday through Friday, and getting on that damned treadmill.

So, all-in-all, it wasn't a terrible month. There's always room for improvement...that's the whole point of having goals. And failure isn't necessarily a bad thing; it's a way to learn and grow. What I mainly ended up doing was simplifying.

**My mornings are no longer filled with yoga and planning and journaling and prayer and meditation. I had to compromise and prioritize, which meant trading all of those things in on ONE THING...getting on the treadmill.

**My marriage, though far from perfect, isn't dead - or even dying. But it needs a healthy infusion of initiative on my part. I figure if I want romance, and intimacy, and sex, I'm going to have to show him I want it, when I want it, and how I want it. I also have to do the things I know he likes and wants.

**And finally, I realized that I can only write so much or so often, and that, as my third priority, it comes after my family and after my health. I'll be here when I can. I know that I often hold myself up against others and can be overly-critical. I see others blogging daily, keeping up on social media, publishing, etc. But, I only have so many hours in the day. With a full-time job on top of it all, I only have so much of myself to give to my writing. Once the Smut Marathon begins, that will be my focus as long as I can stay in it. Daily blog posts and writing for my favorite memes will likely happen less often. Such is life, right?

January wasn't a flop. I'm still married. I love my husband. He loves me. Everyone is alive and in one piece. Success is relative.

First kisses of 2018 and first steps of the initiative challenge

So yesterday was the first day of 2018. I spent most of it simply getting all of my ducks in a row, as you can see by all of my blog posts yesterday and the little (but time-consuming) changes to my design and content.

I did make sure to give Mr. D a very intimate good morning kiss (long and deep), make him coffee, and avoid nagging him to do chores all day. I asked him a few times if there was anything I could do or get for him, while he relaxed and enjoyed his final day of vacation playing video games. I practiced patience and kindness and thoughtfulness...since graciousness is an aim for me this year - in all my relationships. I'm really trying to work on acceptance. I can be pretty impatient with others, and hold them (and myself) to unrealistic and unfair expectations. Sometimes I get irritated with others and don't even really know why. Then, when I think about it and realize how irrational my irritation is, I can dial it back. It's often just about self-awareness. And the more self-aware I am about my emotions, the more capable I am of controlling them.

Not much else was accomplished yesterday, but I feel good about the way we are currently looking at each other.

Today, it is my aim to continue practicing patience and kindness. I have to go back to work, and that always has a tendency to send me for a loop emotionally and mentally. I (probably unwisely) have a career that entails much multi-tasking. I also have so many things to do at any given time that it is impossible to do any of them well...basically I spend my day putting out fires. It's my aim to handle that differently this year, by setting priorities in the morning (no more than three), and then letting the rest go. I am one person and can only accomplish so much. When I give myself too much to do, I set myself up for failure.

The same goes for anything...health, relationships, parenting...whatever the topic, if we ask too much of ourselves, we will indubitably be unable to reach the expectation that we set. Better to choose how we want to feel (today, it's GRACIOUS and centered). I started my day with what I'm calling my "gratitude flow." I do yoga for about 10-15 minutes to get my body moving, my breathing in control, and my heart rate stabilized, and then I just sit - sometimes, I guess I'd call it meditation. It centers me and grounds me, and it's a way to deeply connect with the energy within me and from a higher source. I end by asking for strength in some particular area or offering up a prayer. Then I plan my day, align my calendars (making sure to be true to the "core desired feelings" I am seeking and that I am keeping my priorities in mind and my tasks manageable), and then I write until 6 a.m. That's when I have to get the household up and running.

My days are only as busy as I make them. And my priorities are what I choose to put my time and effort into. I am in complete control of how I react to what the world offers me. And how I choose to react will directly impact the energy that I bring home and the energy that I have left to offer the ones who matter most in my life.

Prioritizing my loved ones, especially my husband, should not be so hard. And I'm a bit ashamed to admit how out of practice I have become over the years.

Today, I am promising more passionate kisses goodbye and hello...full body, intentional, and meaningful connections that show him how much he matters.

Here's to a new year of putting what matters at the top of my to-do list!

Goals for improving my sex life in 2018

As I sit here considering what to write for Masturbation Monday, I find myself fresh out of creative energy. I've been working on my blog design all day, avoiding "real" work. I never even got out of my pajamas. And the time I wasn't devoting to blog design, I was devoting to setting priorities and creating goals for the coming year. It was actually a mentally and emotionally exhausting day.

But, I guess where that leaves me is here...considering what I hope for my sex life in 2018:

1. More kissing...like actual passionate kisses goodbye and hello, rather than those complacent, pedestrian pecks on the lips we've fallen into the habit of giving. When I kiss him in the morning, I want to kiss him like I may never see him again...because I might not...we never know.


2. More sex: Yes, we sort of fell off the sex wagon. And we desperately need to get back on. I'm attempting to remedy this. I have a project this year that is intended to help me get back on the wagon, one step at a time. My theme for January is "showing initiative."

3. More creativity and inspiration...in the bedroom: I am terrible at this. I'm not great at initiating sex, nor am I great at creativity. It's my plan to improve in this regard. I'm thinking maybe my theme for February will be "showing ingenuity."

4. More intimacy: We've lost touch of each other these past few years, but we've made the promise to recommit to each other and reconnect.

5. More adventure: It's something he's been wanting from me for a long time. We've been together for 12 years, and it's common to get bored and complacent. We need a bit of an adventure injection.

So there it is...

I guess it's time to come up with a Sexual Bucket List...What do you have on yours? Give me some of your great ideas! I could use them!

Introducing Fitness Friday

One of my goals for 2018 is to get myself back in shape. I know it has a lot to do with my self-image, energy levels, and therefore...my libido. In order to revive my sex life, getting back in shape is going to be a priority.

Like everything else, I'm taking this one step at a time...starting small, but progressing toward bigger goals. I chose health as one of my top three priorities (along with my marriage and writing) this year, and to hold myself accountable, I'm going to share my progress here once a week. I'm calling it Fitness Friday, and it will just be a simple update/reflection to keep me honest and connected to my intention.

I'm also keeping this simple. I like routine, and I hate exercise, so it has to be something that can be easily scheduled and done at any time, with minimal effort, preparation, and equipment. I have a treadmill, a yoga mat/blocks/bolster, five and ten pound weights, resistance bands, good running shoes, and a little space in my house.

There are a bazillion programs and possibilities out there, but here's where I am and what I'm starting with:

• 196.5 lbs (EEK! The heaviest I have ever been!)
• Size 16

(see below for current pics)

SLEEP - My goal is at least 7 hours a night (tough for me) and a 10 pm bedtime on weeknights, since I get up at 5 a.m.  I know that sleep impacts pretty much everything else...energy, weight, mood...so it's at the top of my priority list.

HYDRATION & DETOX - My goal is 64 oz. and I'm just starting to use a detox tea (Traditional Medicinals) each night. Like sleep, water is often the answer.

MOVEMENT - Running. Signed up for a 10K and am following the Zombies, Run! 5K training program and then the 10K training program (total = 15 weeks).

VITAMINS & SUPPLEMENTS - Smarty Pants Adult Complete with Fiber, Smarty Pants Probiotic, Adrenal Support with magnesium and hormone stabilizers (just added), and St. John's Wort (I'm currently off anti-depressants...so we'll see how this goes...I've used it before with decent results). I suppose these aren't necessary, but it makes me feel good to take them.

DIET - Of course there is always nutrition, as well. I don't diet...I just try to limit and moderate items that are bad for me. This means watching my sugar and carb intake and limiting alcohol and caffeine. Otherwise, I try to eat three meals a day and avoid snacking. We eat pretty healthily, so I'm not concentrating on this part of my health at the moment.

PICTURE - I'm not comfortable showing unedited photos of myself...mostly because I'm not proud. It's not that I hate my body...it didn't do this to me. I did this to my body. This is truly the most out of shape I have ever been, and though I can focus on my good attributes and only upload those images that flatter me, it wouldn't be honest in this context. So, here it is...this is where I am right now. I'll use the same camera, same underwear, same background, and same collage to show the "improvements" as I go. I've never fully committed to a plan like this, so I'm hoping that promising an audience that I'll keep it up will help me stay on track.

The magic of beginnings - and the tools & gadgets that help

WARNING: This is NOT a sexy post...just in case you had your hopes up...

Starting new projects and planning are two of my favorite activities. I'm a type A, if you hadn't
already surmised. I also have bipolar disorder and therefore, I get super (I mean SUPER) passionate about new ideas and beginnings. And then...they fizzle pretty quickly. And the fizzling makes me feel bad...which leads me down the self-implosion route...and eventually...I'm once again hanging out with my old friend "depression." It's a nasty cycle, and one I'm sure several of you can relate to on some level.

To make things even more complicated, there's probably a little adult ADD to contend with, which means focusing and keeping myself organized can often feel like climbing Mt.Everest without the right gear and with a pack of spider monkeys as my sherpa guides.

So, I spent my entire winter break preparing for this.

The challenge (and motivation) for me this time is that I can't afford to let it fizzle. Sara Knight has a great little book for this). Now, like any addict (I just happen to be addicted to not having my shit together), it is easy to say I want to quit or start something. It's fairly easy, even, fun actually, to plan. The first few days or weeks...yeah...okay. But then, like all habits one tries to create (and science backs it), it gets harder the closer you get to actually making it a habit.
fizzle. Mr. D and I have been down this road too many times, and I've got a thing or two to prove, not just to him, but myself, as well.

I am naturally lazy and apathetic about a lot of things. Like Eeyore, I could just bury my head in the sand and let life pass me by, sad and mopey because things just didn't turn out my way. But, to keep my marriage...and my health...it's going to be necessary to do some pretty serious internal and external work this year.

I took ideas from the best resources I came across this year to create my own goal/priority "road map" for the year.

Here are the steps I followed...


Step #1: Core Desired Feelings - I started with how I wanted to feel.
This was a week-long morning journaling endeavor using The Desire Map workbook. It took some doing, but I finally whittled my list down to five  four"core desired feelings" to focus on and work toward this year. I want to feel deeply connected, receptive, sensual present, gracious, and centered. From here, I had to consider what actions and circumstances would help me feel that way. And every day, as I build my schedule, these feelings are central. I write them at the top of my daily planning page each morning and make sure that the majority of what I have planned will help me get there.

Step #2: Life Vision - That led me to writing my "vision" (I used The Perfect Day Formula - a guide from the editor of Early to Rise - to help with this, since it provides a pretty decent example of what a simple life vision should look and sound like). My vision categorizes my life into three major categories: relationships (marriage, parenting, family & friends), lifestyle (home, travel, health), and work. I basically just briefly described my life as I wish it were...as if I were already there...in each of these categories. The whole thing is only two pages long. It's optimistic, positive, and realistic, focusing only on the things that matter most to me. No complaining.

Step #3: Setting My Top Priorities & Goals - Next, I selected one sub-category from each of these main categories to focus on this year: marriage, health, and writing. Those are my priorities. The One Thing provides templates for breaking these areas down even more, from "someday goals" to "5-year goals," "1-year goals," monthly, weekly, daily, and "right now." So I went through the process for each of these subcategories (it doesn't take long with the one page worksheets in the PDF I linked above). There are a few other exercises in the PDF that you might want to try, as well.

Step #4: And that got me to the first steps I must take and THE ONE THING that I must do in each category of my life to make the biggest overall impact on everything. Handily, my sex/marriage goals connect directly to my blogging goals (yay!), and my fitness goals are just a matter of scheduling and follow-through. If anyone is interested in my fitness journey, I'll post that somewhere separate (and out of the way) on the blog. It does actually have quite a bit to do with my sex goals, too. It's no secret that being healthier and in better physical shape has an impact on sex drive and body image. So there's that. All my goals intertwine, which will hopefully make them easier to stick to and achieve.

I printed all of these little items out (my CDFs, my vision, and my goal sheets) and stuck them in the front of my planner for continual reference.

Now, as a type A...I'm a serious planner. And because of the ADD, I probably go overboard on the organization and tracking. But, I've found that it is necessary for me to do this to stay "deeply connected" to what I'm trying to accomplish and to keep myself on track.

So, these are my tools...

PLANNER

I have an adorable planner.

I have tried so many different planners, but this is the one that works for me. I bought the hole punch that works with it, so I can put anything in it, remove pages, replace them. For those us who hyper-plan...and re-plan...and then screw up and plan again, this is a godsend.

I color code the events on the monthly calendar.

Each of my family members and each of my three main priorities (from above) have their own color. The weekly calendar pages are set vertically on a two-page spread, and there are three blank sections for each day. I think most people use them for morning, day, and night, but I use them for my three priorities (marriage, health, and writing). And then I use the daily pages for specifics, notes, to-do lists, and scheduling.

There's a lot of sensitive, personal information in this little gem, so it doesn't leave my desk. It's part of how I start my day, with what I call my "gratitude flow." I do a bit of yoga, some mediation, prayer...I set an intention related to my priorities and/or goals, and then I plan my day based on my CDFs. I must say, it's hard to plan my day around how I want to feel, rather than just a bunch of shit I feel I have to get done. It changes things. My CDFs rule my vision. My vision sets my priorities. I break my priorities down into "manageable chunks" (read Sarah Night's Get Your Shit Together) to get to the One Thing I must do right now...and today...

It really probably seems simple. But for me, this kind of planning has never really COME TOGETHER so beautifully. It took me all year to read these books, process all the best information I gleaned from them, and turn them into a "system" that would work for me. And this system keeps me from creating To Do lists a mile long and then letting them ruin my life. It also keeps me focused on what matters most, meaning I have to say no to a lot of other "stuff." If that "stuff" doesn't fit in with my priorities and doesn't help me attain my goals or feel the way I want to feel, then it gets pushed to the bottom of the list or removed. Unless...of course it's an emergency or a requirement. Things like "taxes" and "do the laundry...again...for the 4 millionth time" just never leave the list. But, they have ceased to rule my life. It used to be that I'd make a to-do list and then get busy crossing shit off of it every day. Invariably, more things would get added, and the list was always too long to actually accomplish. I never completed the list. Ever. Which always left me feeling drained and sort of pissed off. It meant I never felt the way I wanted, and what I wanted to do always got put off. And that, my friends, is a sure-fire mood killer. Bye-bye libido, right?


CALENDARS

I am pretty much the "calendarer" in our household. I keep, update, and remind everyone what's going on and what's coming up. So, we have a family calendar on the wall and I use Google Calendar, since I can combine both my personal and work calendar in one place. Plus, I have a cool little widget on my phone's main screen that tells me what's on the docket for today and tomorrow, to keep me in check. I color code this, too, so I can see what applies to me, Mr. D, my son, and all of us as a family. And I time block to make sure my priorities take center stage.

My planning system is pretty important. And it works pretty well. I will admit, that I spend an inordinate amount of time planning, but since I enjoy it (as a sort of sick hobby, I suppose), it's all okay. I'll also admit that I can get mired down in the planning and forget to actually do anything (or run out of time to do anything). I'm working on that. It's a journey.



PRIORITY LISTS

To keep this from becoming to unwieldy a process, I use the Google Keep app. It allows me to make lists, but hide the items I'm not currently focusing on. So, at any given time, only the things I have to accomplish TODAY are showing, but I can add to the hidden list as much as I want and prioritize those items. I have checklists for my marriage, my blog, my health, reading, basic to-dos, housekeeping, work...plus all of my shopping lists (which I can share with Mr. D) and my son's chore list (which I can share with him). It's super handy and very simple. I like seeing all of my lists in one place and being able to check them off and edit them at a whim.


TRACKING

I'm using Loop Habit Tracker to track my goal progress. I played with several habit tracker apps this year, and this one was the simplest to use. The interface is clean, it sets reminders, and it shows progress over time in multiple ways. Not a bad little app for FREE. So many of the other trackers I found just had too much extra stuff, when all I wanted was to chart my progress.



GRATITUDE

And finally, I also keep a gratitude journal. The 5 Minute Journal app is perfect for this. It reminds me in the morning and at night to complete the short entry, and it allows me to attach an image for the day. Staying grateful is one of my aims this year. So, this app is perfect. I used it on and off all last year, and have determined that it is the best product of its type.


This probably all sounds like a lot of work. And, I'll admit, the set-up takes awhile. But, it was a worthwhile undertaking for the end of the year. I think it set me up for greater success this year, because I have a very narrow focus. I have specific goals that lead up to bigger ones. These goals are directly tied to my top priorities, which are directly tied to what I want my future to look like. And all of it is meant to help me feel the way I want to feel on a daily basis.

So here's to a great 2018.

"Fuck, Blog, Run" - My goals for 2018

I've read a fair amount of self-help literature that focuses on writing a VISION for your life...where you want to be...WHO you want to be...WHOM you want to be with...why...how...etc., etc., etc. And, much like visualization and guided imagery, I do truly believe that this is something that can manifest what we want most in our lives. Creating a vision begins with considering priorities and goals.

I am trying to keep my priorities simple and focused and my goals specific and achievable.

Priority #1 - I WANT AN *AWESOME* MARRIAGE:

My ONE THING = FUCK --- I want very much for my marriage to get back on track...which means, first...my sex life needs to get back on track. That might sound back-ass-wards. I know a lot of psychiatrists and counselors would say we need to deal with our "intimacy issues" first. But, I know my marriage. And for us, sex comes first...because sex is the litmus. It is the measure of how everything else is going in the relationship. Sex is our nucleus. And I must begin with the nucleus. I'll be working on this throughout the year.

Priority #2 - I WANT TO BE A WRITER:

My ONE THING = BLOG --- I am happier and healthier (mentally, emotionally, and spiritually) when I am writing on a regular basis. The basis of my daily writing is wrapped up in the blog right now. I would love to just BE a writer...quit my job, write for a living, have a novel or two published, etc. It's a fantasy of mine. But, like any dream, I know I am the only thing getting in my own way. It won't happen this year, but steps can be taken. This year, my blog is going to become central for me. I'm simply going to work to get it back up and running and build a following that grows beyond the memes to which I submit. I've also joined the Smut Marathon. So we'll see where that takes me.

Priority #3 - I WANT TO BE HEALTHIER:

My ONE THING = RUN --- I've kind of let myself go the last few years. With all the stress we've had in our lives, both of us have gained weight and given ourselves over to laziness. My lethargy has manifested in more ways than just a lack of motivation for writing. I've just given up on being sexy...and I've lost my energy, my joie de vivre, my drive at work, and my passion for just plain having fun! I deserve better than that.

In 2017, I got myself back on the yoga mat. This year, I'm signing up for a 10K and getting myself back on the trail. Ultimately, I'd love to lose something like fifty pounds, but I know that weight is a faulty measure of health and has little to do with how I actually look. There are also a lot of other things I could do and focus on...diet, sleep, hydration, strength training, blah, blah, blah. If I just run...that's a start. 

So, there you have it...my goals for 2018: FUCK, BLOG, RUN...my own version of EAT, PRAY, LOVE...but no less intense or spiritually transforming - plus, I'm sure I'll be doing plenty of eating, praying, and loving this year, as well.